So it’s been a few months since I posted anything. I took a break from everything! I’ve been going hard since 2011 and I just felt like it was time for a break. I was really nervous about stopping workouts but come to find out it’s ok. I haven’t gained 50 lbs or even 25, which is what I dreaded and although what was once semi tightened up is now back to square 1 waiting for me to begin again, I didn’t turn into Jabba the Hut. I feel like I needed a break from running, lifting, working out, being on a diet, writing blogs, all of it. I needed to get away from feeling obligated to work out. I hated that I was feeling stress about whether or not I worked out and whether or not I ran or signed up for a race. I needed to not care about it all and not care about it all is exactly what I’ve been doing.
I spent some time working on my faith and exploring what was missing. I’d like to say I did that one on my own but truth be told, it took me meeting some exceptionally faithful folks to realize that I wasn’t doing a good job in my own faithfulness. It’s in a better place now and honestly, I see the difference it’s making in my everyday life. There’s work to do every day of course but there’s a peaceful, joyful feeling with me every day that just makes me look at where I’m going differently.
Metanoia: (n.) the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self, or way of life; spiritual conversion.
I took a much-needed vacation for the first time in 26 years and it was good for my soul and good for my relationship with my husband. It’s been a long time since we weren’t tending to kids, doing things for kids, worrying about kids, driving kids, etc and truthfully it was just a little weird to be without them. It was good though and in hindsight, I’m glad we waited until they were grown to do that. I feel like our entire world has been devoted to them as it should have been when you take on the role of parent. it’s not about you while they are growing up. You sacrifice that for them, and we did willingly and lovingly. As much as I complained about never having a “me” vacation, I wouldn’t change the way we did it. My kids come first and NOW it’s my turn to do for me, for us. We’ve earned it.
The holidays ran over us like a Juggernaut, one right after the other and now here we are staring at 2020. I feel like I’m ready now to inch my way back to a routine of some sort and perhaps a goal or two to drive me along throughout the year. I feel like 2020 is going to be an awesome year for me for a lot of reasons. I’m working on some personal goals and planning to have an amazing year with a lot of overdue triumphs and fewer tribulations. I’m ready to get back into the swing of things and get things done.
So here we go, into 2020. I’m strapped in, engines revving, guns ready to blaze a trail through this year making good choices, no apologies and checking things off my list one at a time. Not too many things on my list, just some good ones that have been on my mind for a while. Subscribe and follow me as I figure my way through 2020.
I have this gardening problem. I LOVE to be in the garden, planting, weeding, designing, creating and just making my surroundings beautiful. This includes putting out the non-living solar lights that I just got as a “just cuz” gift from my husband. It took a long time for him to learn that and I love it when he does it, especially when it involves my gardens and my yard. I have gardens EVERYWHERE in my yard. The current count of established gardens is 6 with one that is halfway done in that count. I have two that are in my head that I will dig out in preparation for next year and one that I know I want to create but I haven’t quite envisioned it. I just love to be surrounded by flowers and plants. It makes me so happy!
This happiness is also my potential downfall. If I have the chance to garden, everything else is second best including any planned fitness. Yesterday, for example, I was going to go for a run after work. My friend at work emailed me saying she was getting rid of a bunch of plants at her house and asked me if I wanted anything. YES! I was about to go to Home Depot and pay for daylilies after work but she had a bunch of them she didn’t want. Instantly my plan was about to go out the window to go get my green jackpot! I was so excited. It turns out she had to pick up her son after work so I had to wait to go there and get them which was a good thing because I did get my run in first but it was touch and go for a little while.
oday I am going to get a run in or a biking session or maybe a walk with my son, my wingman. I’d rather be gardening but when I set the date to go get more plants from my friend’s house, I said Thursday on purpose because I knew if I said Wednesday it would start a several days long excuse-fest for not running or working out. As it is I have stopped lifting weights again and I am a little pissed about that. I just can’t do everything I want to in the span of a week because 1) I’m not willing to be at the gym every single day now that the weather is nice. 2) I won’t spend more than an hour and a half on the outside, working out. I’m not that committed and I’m never going to be in the shape I see in my head again because time is my enemy and my passion lies elsewhere.
Fifty. Now What? 