Category Archives: Not giving up

Some Days Getting Back On Track Means…

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Today I will embark on a second stab at Yoga.  Now I think of Yoga as a sort of self-torture that reminds me of just how unflexible and out of shape I am.  I have done it a few times and I always feel like a Hippo.  I found one person on YouTube that I like so it’s going to me and her and me tonight and by that I mean her leading excellently with me grunting and groaning along.  It’ll get better because I know all things get better with practice.  It’s a lazy way to say I did something without fighting the crowd of resolutionists at the gym this time of year and smelling like a hog.  My hope is that I can like it more and incorporate it regularly into my new fitness regime.  My belief is that I can use it in addition/conjunction to learning how to meditate (another goal for me this year).  Strength comes from all sorts of exercise and one thing I need more of is small muscle strength and flexibility.  Both can be achieved through Yoga.  Tonight I’ll be sure to remember to use my Yoga mat and take my socks off.  Last week I didn’t do either and I kept slipping on the carpet.

I did go to the gym two nights ago and ran on the treadmill.  I had only intended to walk but I got there and thought to myself, “Self, a run doesn’t get any easier / convenient than on the treadmill”. 1)  It’s not cold inside. 2) the bathroom is not far away.  So I bullied myself into it and did 3 miles, alternating walking and “running” (more like trotting) the whole way.  It got done and I felt successful having pushed a little more than I was going to.   Actually just going in was a success since I had convinced myself that it would be packed with the resolutionists ( one of which I sort of am now having not run in a few months) and that the chances of my getting a treadmill were slim.  I drove by (which by the way was the whole goal originally anyway) and to my amazement, there were a few open DM’s so in I went.

There you have it.  How the lazy man’s mind works when it comes to getting back on track.

 

ATF (After The Fact) – I did not do Yoga last night.  Why?  Because i was so tired from work that I could barely keep my eyes open.  I tried meditation but fell asleep.  Try again today..

Embracing Metanoia

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So it’s been a few months since I posted anything.  I took a break from everything!  I’ve been going hard since 2011 and I just felt like it was time for a break.  I was really nervous about stopping workouts but come to find out it’s ok.  I haven’t gained 50 lbs or even 25, which is what I dreaded and although what was once semi tightened up is now back to square 1 waiting for me to begin again, I didn’t turn into Jabba the Hut.  I feel like I needed a break from running, lifting, working out, being on a diet, writing blogs, all of it.    I needed to get away from feeling obligated to work out.  I hated that I was feeling stress about whether or not I worked out and whether or not I ran or signed up for a race.  I needed to not care about it all and not care about it all is exactly what I’ve been doing.

I spent some time working on my faith and exploring what was missing.  I’d like to say I did that one on my own but truth be told, it took me meeting some exceptionally faithful folks to realize that I wasn’t doing a good job in my own faithfulness.  It’s in a better place now and honestly, I see the difference it’s making in my everyday life.  There’s work to do every day of course but there’s a peaceful, joyful feeling with me every day that just makes me look at where I’m going differently.

 

Metanoia:  (n.) the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self, or way of life; spiritual conversion.

I took a much-needed vacation for the first time in 26 years and it was good for my soul and good for my relationship with my husband.  It’s been a long time since we weren’t tending to kids, doing things for kids, worrying about kids, driving kids, etc and truthfully it was just a little weird to be without them.  It was good though and in hindsight, I’m glad we waited until they were grown to do that.  I feel like our entire world has been devoted to them as it should have been when you take on the role of parent.  it’s not about you while they are growing up.  You sacrifice that for them, and we did willingly and lovingly.  As much as I complained about never having a “me” vacation, I wouldn’t change the way we did it.  My kids come first and NOW it’s my turn to do for me, for us.  We’ve earned it.

The holidays ran over us like a Juggernaut, one right after the other and now here we are staring at 2020.  I feel like I’m ready now to inch my way back to a routine of some sort and perhaps a goal or two to drive me along throughout the year.  I feel like 2020 is going to be an awesome year for me for a lot of reasons.  I’m working on some personal goals and planning to have an amazing year with a lot of overdue triumphs and fewer tribulations.  I’m ready to get back into the swing of things and get things done.

So here we go, into 2020. I’m strapped in, engines revving, guns ready to blaze a trail through this year making good choices, no apologies and checking things off my list one at a time.  Not too many things on my list, just some good ones that have been on my mind for a while.  Subscribe and follow me as I figure my way through 2020.

 

Not the Kind of Wrestling I Want!

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That cover pic right there is my kind of wrestling!  My son was a wrestler his whole HS career and I just loved every minute of it.  Now however, I seem to be wrapped up in a different kind of wrestling and I HATE it!   Carbs!  I now wrestle with carbs!  I hate Carbs!  What a pain in the butt it is to count them because I always reach my max before I finish my calories!  I don’t know about you, but seeing calories left on the table for the day and really struggling not to stuff my face with something to get rid of them makes me crazy!  It’s bad enough to have to count them but to see them and not eat them is sort of a tease.  I don’t want to just eat anything, really I can’t anyway because I’m trying to eat better.  I’ve upped my caloric intake to see if that forces my body to burn fuel (preferably fat) more like I want it to.  I’m really watching because more calories is scary to me.  I’m at 2300+ on high carb days (5 out of 7) and at 2100+ on the other two days which is about 1200 and 1000 increase from where I was before where my weight was not budging.  I better work hard these next two test weeks!  stay tuned for the results of this experiment.

Figuring Out What Works

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This year I’ve done nothing but change up what I’m doing to try to figure out what is going to work for me.  I’ve tried low calories, mixed calories, carbs on cardio days, carbs before cardio days.  I’ve tried several things but my weight has stayed exactly where it is now.  So now I”m going to try having a caloric deficit from my maintenance calories every day but two in the week AND I’m going to see if feeding my body more (because acc to several websites my maintenance calories are above 2,000) will force it to fuel from fat differently from a deficit.  There is so much out there on how to eat, when to eat, why you eat blah blah blah.  So confusing but ramping up and dumping carbs on heavy workout days hasn’t changed my weight one bit in 3 weeks.  eating between 1300 and 1900 calories has been to no avail and low calories every day has not worked either so now I’m going to try it this way.  I’ve read several things that say to feed your body which will force it to use energy stores more efficiently.  Maybe I need to work harder at the gym but seriously I just want to look better and stay healthy longer.  It’s like finding a cure for something with the amount of effort that it’s taking to figure this out. I don’t have the energy or time to do all the reading I probably need to do.  Just one experiment after another and this next week is going to hold more calories (not counting carbs really) and heavier weight and more effort.  We’ll see what that effort brings.