So it’s been a few months since I posted anything. I took a break from everything! I’ve been going hard since 2011 and I just felt like it was time for a break. I was really nervous about stopping workouts but come to find out it’s ok. I haven’t gained 50 lbs or even 25, which is what I dreaded and although what was once semi tightened up is now back to square 1 waiting for me to begin again, I didn’t turn into Jabba the Hut. I feel like I needed a break from running, lifting, working out, being on a diet, writing blogs, all of it. I needed to get away from feeling obligated to work out. I hated that I was feeling stress about whether or not I worked out and whether or not I ran or signed up for a race. I needed to not care about it all and not care about it all is exactly what I’ve been doing.
I spent some time working on my faith and exploring what was missing. I’d like to say I did that one on my own but truth be told, it took me meeting some exceptionally faithful folks to realize that I wasn’t doing a good job in my own faithfulness. It’s in a better place now and honestly, I see the difference it’s making in my everyday life. There’s work to do every day of course but there’s a peaceful, joyful feeling with me every day that just makes me look at where I’m going differently.
Metanoia: (n.) the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self, or way of life; spiritual conversion.
I took a much-needed vacation for the first time in 26 years and it was good for my soul and good for my relationship with my husband. It’s been a long time since we weren’t tending to kids, doing things for kids, worrying about kids, driving kids, etc and truthfully it was just a little weird to be without them. It was good though and in hindsight, I’m glad we waited until they were grown to do that. I feel like our entire world has been devoted to them as it should have been when you take on the role of parent. it’s not about you while they are growing up. You sacrifice that for them, and we did willingly and lovingly. As much as I complained about never having a “me” vacation, I wouldn’t change the way we did it. My kids come first and NOW it’s my turn to do for me, for us. We’ve earned it.
The holidays ran over us like a Juggernaut, one right after the other and now here we are staring at 2020. I feel like I’m ready now to inch my way back to a routine of some sort and perhaps a goal or two to drive me along throughout the year. I feel like 2020 is going to be an awesome year for me for a lot of reasons. I’m working on some personal goals and planning to have an amazing year with a lot of overdue triumphs and fewer tribulations. I’m ready to get back into the swing of things and get things done.
So here we go, into 2020. I’m strapped in, engines revving, guns ready to blaze a trail through this year making good choices, no apologies and checking things off my list one at a time. Not too many things on my list, just some good ones that have been on my mind for a while. Subscribe and follow me as I figure my way through 2020.
several things that say to feed your body which will force it to use energy stores more efficiently. Maybe I need to work harder at the gym but seriously I just want to look better and stay healthy longer. It’s like finding a cure for something with the amount of effort that it’s taking to figure this out. I don’t have the energy or time to do all the reading I probably need to do. Just one experiment after another and this next week is going to hold more calories (not counting carbs really) and heavier weight and more effort. We’ll see what that effort brings.
So I mentioned in a previous post that I have a “diaphragm issue”. I did some looking into this after a 3-episode weekend and I actually think that it is a thoracic musculoskeletal type problem that may even be related to my hypothyroidism. I don’t believe in turning a blind eye because that’s how you get hurt. You have to keep your eyes and your mind open to what is happening to you. The jury is out but I’m about 90% sure it’s not my diaphragm since I am not having trouble taking in big breaths. In my brief research, I did find out that I probably also have Precordial catch which is a brief sharp pain in the left chest that gets worse with inhalation and subsides in a minute or two. That happens a few times a year.
I’ve had a couple in a years time but never consecutive days. I keep track of when it happens as a record for the doctor when I go to see her. My watch records my heart rate whenever I’m wearing it which is all the time minus when I’m sleeping. When it happens it starts with pain across my chest then gets stronger and radiates down my arm and seemingly appears to radiate from my diaphragm which is why I thought that it was an injury with that. It feels like getting punched in the stomach. It lasts for 20-30 minutes in general then goes away as quickly as it sets in. Sunday, the discomfort lasted about 45 minutes but then what I’ll call a lingering “ache” hung around for an hour or two more. This was manageable but when it’s most painful, I can’t get comfortable no matter what I do. No position is relieving and I just have to wait it out. Saturday’s episode happened at night and this time it seemed to be less uncomfortable on my right side with my arms raised above my head. Sunday it seemed that laying on the right side was still better than the left but when I took a big deep breath in the pain seemed to go away as fast as it came. Not sure if breathing in actually helped or was just coincidental to the end of the episode.
I am going to alter my gym routine for my husband’s piece of mind. I’ll walk on the nice days that my son has off after work. That way I’m still getting exercise but nothing strenuous every day of the week for a while. It’s a compromise that probably will do me good. I read that this possibly could be related to my Hypothyroid situation. I’m on Levothyroxine and the highest dose yet for me but not a high does. .75 mg now but the last bloodwork done shows that it is not keeping my T4 level down where it should be. Maybe that is the reason I’ve experienced so many episodes these last few days. I don’t know but better to be safe than sorry I think. I might not like it much but I feel that it’s better to do something to make you and your loved one feel better and be on the safe side than to ignore the whole thing and have bigger issues later.
Fifty. Now What? 