So it’s been a few months since I posted anything. I took a break from everything! I’ve been going hard since 2011 and I just felt like it was time for a break. I was really nervous about stopping workouts but come to find out it’s ok. I haven’t gained 50 lbs or even 25, which is what I dreaded and although what was once semi tightened up is now back to square 1 waiting for me to begin again, I didn’t turn into Jabba the Hut. I feel like I needed a break from running, lifting, working out, being on a diet, writing blogs, all of it. I needed to get away from feeling obligated to work out. I hated that I was feeling stress about whether or not I worked out and whether or not I ran or signed up for a race. I needed to not care about it all and not care about it all is exactly what I’ve been doing.
I spent some time working on my faith and exploring what was missing. I’d like to say I did that one on my own but truth be told, it took me meeting some exceptionally faithful folks to realize that I wasn’t doing a good job in my own faithfulness. It’s in a better place now and honestly, I see the difference it’s making in my everyday life. There’s work to do every day of course but there’s a peaceful, joyful feeling with me every day that just makes me look at where I’m going differently.
Metanoia: (n.) the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self, or way of life; spiritual conversion.
I took a much-needed vacation for the first time in 26 years and it was good for my soul and good for my relationship with my husband. It’s been a long time since we weren’t tending to kids, doing things for kids, worrying about kids, driving kids, etc and truthfully it was just a little weird to be without them. It was good though and in hindsight, I’m glad we waited until they were grown to do that. I feel like our entire world has been devoted to them as it should have been when you take on the role of parent. it’s not about you while they are growing up. You sacrifice that for them, and we did willingly and lovingly. As much as I complained about never having a “me” vacation, I wouldn’t change the way we did it. My kids come first and NOW it’s my turn to do for me, for us. We’ve earned it.
The holidays ran over us like a Juggernaut, one right after the other and now here we are staring at 2020. I feel like I’m ready now to inch my way back to a routine of some sort and perhaps a goal or two to drive me along throughout the year. I feel like 2020 is going to be an awesome year for me for a lot of reasons. I’m working on some personal goals and planning to have an amazing year with a lot of overdue triumphs and fewer tribulations. I’m ready to get back into the swing of things and get things done.
So here we go, into 2020. I’m strapped in, engines revving, guns ready to blaze a trail through this year making good choices, no apologies and checking things off my list one at a time. Not too many things on my list, just some good ones that have been on my mind for a while. Subscribe and follow me as I figure my way through 2020.
I hate Carbs! What a pain in the butt it is to count them because I always reach my max before I finish my calories! I don’t know about you, but seeing calories left on the table for the day and really struggling not to stuff my face with something to get rid of them makes me crazy! It’s bad enough to have to count them but to see them and not eat them is sort of a tease. I don’t want to just eat anything, really I can’t anyway because I’m trying to eat better. I’ve upped my caloric intake to see if that forces my body to burn fuel (preferably fat) more like I want it to. I’m really watching because more calories is scary to me. I’m at 2300+ on high carb days (5 out of 7) and at 2100+ on the other two days which is about 1200 and 1000 increase from where I was before where my weight was not budging. I better work hard these next two test weeks! stay tuned for the results of this experiment.