“As we hammer shape to our lives, sometimes we hold the hammer and other times no matter how hard we swing that hammer, nothing happens. It is then that we have to hand that hammer to someone who is better equipped to do the job. Handing over our hammer doesn’t mean we are weak or that we failed but that we recognize that those willing to take our hammer were given the strength to swing it for us.”

Today I realized that I’m jealous that my husband is spending more time with my son’s girlfriend’s family. I’m not a jealous person but somewhere deep inside my heart I feel like he’s taking time that I should have. I started to rant about him not just coming home right after their task for the trip was done, which it will be tomorrow I think. Why does he need to stay down there? As I was getting more and more pissed off, I suddenly realized that God probably wants her parents to spend time with him. I somehow believe that they have a capability that I do not to reach him at a level that I cannot. I could be mad that I’ve known him for 33 years and so far been unsuccessful in totally climbing the wall he keeps up but as I read my morning scripture I thought that perhaps something is supposed to take place between he and them in these next few days that I need to let happen. I believe my path is going to take me to SC and I do believe that Rob is / might be a roadblock to that happening in my imagined timeframe. He has years here that need to be finished in order to retire but I do not. He hates the heat and I don’t so much. My other son hates the heat and has said he would never move south. There’s a laundry list of reasons why previously to this that I really didn’t think that door would open.

Somehow now, I’m thinking that God’s plan involves my husband and sons remaining there and staying with their family in order to help change their heart. I think God is helping me by having their family interact with mine. I think they have gifts of love and assuredness that God gave them to share with my family for this reason. I am no longer mad or jealous but happy that God is rolling out his plan step by step for me and that I just need to sit back and have faith in Him and His process. God loves me and knows what he’s doing and I trust him. I believe that the next few days are going to change my family and that I need to let it happen and be thankful in God’s grace laid upon us and his help in my life to get me where I need to be. I feel so much better now that I have let go of selfishness and negative energy because those things just bring me down and bring down those around me. I love realizing when God is working in my life. When I stop for a moment to think about why things are happening, almost always I see the big picture more and more as I get closer to God. He works in mysterious ways and in His time. It’s our job to pray, be patient and wait.