This week I’ve thought a LOT about the days when I was in serious mental trouble.  Back then I was suicidal, depressed and I spent my time running all the time and sometimes twice in a day.  I ate coffee, water, and salad for 6 months and pretty much counted every minute to get through the days.  Back then something happened to me that I now know to be Ketosis, but didn’t know then.  All the fat from my legs and other parts of my body had disappeared.  My kids told me I was disappearing but all I saw in the mirror was a fat person. I was not well mentally or physically.  Through reading more about the Keto diet, being in Ketosis, listening to Leanne Vogel’s podcasts and being part of online Facebook groups dedicated to the lifestyle, I have learned that I accidentally (and through poor means and process) was fat adapted.  My body actually ate all the fat it had stored because I was starving it.  I was never hungry, even when I went 4 days at one point without food.  I had the energy to run miles and miles and in fact, was running faster at that point.

I remember what my thigh felt like without fat and I remember thinking how amazing it felt to feel nothing but muscle.  That part of having no fat on me is something I’d like to experience again, but the rest of that very unhealthy lifestyle I’ll pass on.  It’s more important to me that I am now happy and positive and living a very good and healthy life.  If I don’t lose another pound I won’t cry because my mental state is just very good.  I am going to try to get back to that the right way this time.  I want to feel my leg muscle without a fat barrier and run my hands over my body and feel nothing but power and hard work.  If you’ve never experienced it, go pet a horse.  Seriously, running your hand over a horse with all his powerful muscles just under his skin is exactly the feeling when you learn to burn fat from your body.  I remember it and now that the memory has connected my past to my future goals, I’m driven more than ever to keep working hard every day.

I started fasting as you may know two days ago.  I currently go 16 hours without food which includes the overnight hours which make it easier.  If I can make this my daily routine, I want to up my fasting hours from 16 to 17 then 18 which means I will no longer eat breakfast and consume all 2000 calories between lunch and dinner.  I’m interested to see what my food threshold is before becoming ravenous.  Today I started eating at 9:30 which was 16 hours from my 5:30 dinner conclusion last night.  My belly was rumbling but I think I could have gone for another hour before needing food.  Tomorrow I’m going to try 17 hours and see how it goes.  Wish me luck!